What does it mean to Surrender?

When we surrender to God, we surrender to something bigger than ourselves - to a universe that knows what it's doing. When we stop trying to control events, they fall into a natural order, an order that works.

Surrender means, by definition, giving up attachment to results. When we surrender to God, we let go of our attachment to how things happen on the outside and we become more concerned with what happens on the inside.

In Zen Buddhism, there's a concept called "zen's mind" or beginner's mind." They say that the mind should be like an empty rice bowl. If it's already full, then the universe can not fill it. If it's empty, it has room to receive. This means that when we think we have things already figured out, we are not teachable. Genuine insight can not dawn on a mind's that is not open to receive it. Surrender is a process of emptying the mind.

Excerpt from Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson

A Man's Mind my be Likened to a Garden . . .

A man's mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will bring forth. If not useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.

Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master gardener of his soul, the director of his life. He also reveals, within himself, the laws of thought, and understands with ever-increasing accuracy, how the thought-forces and mind elements operate in the shaping of his character, circumstances, and destiny.

excerpt from As A Man Thinketh by James Allen

What is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness means that you do not carry the baggage of an experience.

When you choose not to forgive, the experience that you do not forgive sticks with you.

When you choose not to forgive, it is like agreeing to wear dark, gruesome sunglasses that distort everything, and it is you who are focused every day to look at Life through those contaminated lenses because you have chosen to keep them. You wish everyone else to see the world that way because you wish to see the world that way, and it is indeed the world that you are looking at, but it is only you who sees it. You are looking through the lenses of your own contaminated love.

Forgiveness means that you do not hold others responsible for your experiences. If you do not hold yourself accountable for what you experience, you will hold someone else accountable, and if you are not satisfied with what you experience, you will seek to change it by manipulating that person. Complaining, for example, is exactly that dynamic of wanting someone to be responsible for what you experience and to fix something for you.

excerpt from The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav

There is a special kind of beauty in imperfection.

My vacuum cleaner broke recently.  A plastic piece that attaches the hose to the vacuum cleaner is cracked.  To use the hose and its attachments - I have to push the broken plastic piece against the vacuum cleaner to create suction.  If done properly, my vacuum cleaner works like a charm.  Is it inconvenient?  You bet it is!  However,  I can not justify replacing a fairly new vacuum cleaner because of one manageable defect.  

Yesterday, as I was holding my vacuum 'together' while cleaning out my van with the hose attachment, I could not help but laugh when thinking back to all the quirky ways my husband and I have dealt with broken things over the years.   In Nebraska, a leaf on our kitchen table was broken, which caused one end of the table to be on a downward slant.  As you could imagine, if one was not careful - a glass or plate would slide right of the table.  During meal times, this seat was reserved for my husband or me.  We would always make sure to hold onto our plates and strategically position our drinking glasses so they would not fall off the table.   Our TV in Rhode Island would lose the picture occasionally.  The only remedy we knew was to smack it on the side a few times and whoa la - a perfect picture!  It was quite a sight to see our two-and-a-half-year-old run up to the television to give it a good smack, to resume watching her PBS programs.  Whenever we reminisce about our past, mishaps such as these are the things we laugh about and remember most - the imperfections in life.

In my opinion,  the same goes for people.  I have met people that possess some interesting qualities, to say the least.  Qualities that are far less than perfect.  However, rather than dismissing them from my life, I have always made an effort to look beyond their imperfections. Over the years, many of these people have become lifelong friends and have taught me the importance of love, friendship, and understanding.    A few years ago a dear friend of mine, whose unique personality took me a while to appreciate, died from cancer.  I thank God every day that I was able to overlook her imperfections to discover the true beauty that lay within her and be her friend.

I do realize that there comes a time when imperfections become too great.  Our slanted kitchen table and picture-less TV are long gone.  At times, it is necessary to let go of people from our lives whose imperfections are unhealthy for us and/or our families.    But for the imperfections that are not too great,  we have a choice to either be annoyed or learn to live with them.  

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person effectively."

Sam Keen

Dwell not on your past.

Use it to illustrate a point,

then leave it behind.

Nothing really matters

except what you do now

in this moment of time.

From this moment onward

you can be an entirely different person,

filled with love and understanding,

ready with an outstrecthed hand,

uplifted and positive

in every thought

and deed

Eileen Caddy

God Spoke to Me

Ostrich Syndrome

The ostrich will bury his head in the sand when confronted with something unpleasant.  The problem is that the unpleasant reality is still there.

I don't know about all of you - but this is one thing the ostrich and I have in common.  Typically, putting my head in the sand is the defense mechanism of choice when an obstacle presents itself in my life.  And just as in the ostrich's case, reality still exists when I pull my head out of the sand.  But lately, I have been trying to change my cowardly ways.  Instead of hiding, I am facing the 'unpleasant' things in my life  head on.  Surprisingly, "unpleasant things" that I  viewed as awful and hopeless - end up being not so bad after all.  The sense of empowerment from overcoming the "dreaded" situation I felt was extremely uplifting.  So this is what I suggest for all of you out there; the next time a challenge presents itself in your life, do not be an ostrich, instead - stand tall, stand proud, and face your problems head on!   You will thank yourself in the end!

Letting Go . . .

In Southeast Asia hunters use a clever trap for catching monkeys.  The hunter hollows out a huge pumpkin-like gourd,  leaving the shell intact except for a hole large enough for him to push a banana inside.  When a monkey comes along and discovers the banana, he sticks his hand in the gourd to get it.  As soon as the monkey clutches his hand  around the banana, he is trapped - hand and banana will not fit back through the hole.  The poor monkey seals his own fate because his mind cannot give up the idea of grabbing the fruit.  He can not let go.  The monkey is quite literally a prisoner of his own mind.

Silly isn't it?  All this poor little monkey has to do is let go of the banana and he would be free from this dilemma.  However, he chooses not to.  Why? Because he is not aware that the banana is the source of his problem.  Due to this lack of awareness,  he is imprisoned.

Too often aren't we just like the poor little monkeys holding onto a banana?  We find ourselves imprisoned by addictions, habits, and ill-emotions.   We prefer to place the blame on circumstances or someone else rather than facing the root of the problem.  In the poor monkey's case, he could easily blame the pumpkin & the hunters for being trapped, but unfortunately - that does not solve his dilemma.  The only way he can escape from being imprisoned - is to become aware that the banana is the problem --  and let it go.

Sit back and think of a situation in your life you are in turmoil about.  Use self awareness to recognize what the true source of the problem is.  Once you identify your banana, work on letting it go.  It may not be easy, but it is the only way to break free from your prison.

The aim of life is to live and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. Helen Keller

"In music, when playing piano, sometimes you are playing at a thing and sometimes you are playing in it.  When you are playing at it you crescendo and diminish, following the signs.  "Now it is time to get louder," you read on score.  And you make it louder and louder.  "Look out? there is  a pianissimo!"  So you dutifully do that.  But this is intellectual and external.

Only when you are playing in a thing do people listen and hear you and are moved.  It is because you are moved, because a queer and wonderful experience has taken place and the music - Mozart or Bach or whatever it is - suddenly is yourself, your voice and your eloquence.  The passionate and wonderful questions in the music are your questions.  And with all the nobility and wonderful sweetness of Beethoven, say, it is you talking to those who listen."

-Brenda Ueland, If You Want to Write

*** How do you live your day?  Is each moment spent with love and awareness or are the moments simply viewed as one moment that will lead to another.  As an accomplished musician plays a piano piece it is not his ability to play all the notes correctly that inspires and moves us, but the passion he puts forth when he strikes each key.  Embrace each moment, just as the pianist embraces each note, and fill each one with passion and love, and with all your passionate moments strung together, at the end of the day, you will have orchestrated a beautiful melody.

WIth a little help from my friends . . .

I found myself at a low point this morning, filled with frustration and hopelessness.  You know, the point you reach when the only solution to your weighted life problems is a box of chocolates. I simply do not keep chocolates in my home for that very reason. So, I resorted to the next best thing - I searched for inspiration.  On down moments such as these, I say a little prayer for guidance and pick out book(s) off my book shelf that I feel drawn to.  Then, I simply open the book to some random page and read. 

This particular time,  I chose three books.  I carefully opened my first choice, Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson (one of my favorites). The page read . . . 

"We feel so much pent up energy, so much locked up talent.  We know in our hearts that we were born to do great things, and we have a deep-seated dread of wasting our lives.  But the only person who can free us is ourselves.  Most of us know that.  We realize that the locked door is our own fear.  But we have learned by now, that on some level our terror is moving forward and is so great that it would take a miracle to free us."    

 Inspired, I opened the second book by Iyanla Vanzant, Until Today.

"Emergency, Emergency! Emergency!  It is time for a search-and -recovery mission!  It is time to rediscover your Self-hood!  It is time to search out fear, doubt, and anything else that promotes and supports self-sabotage.  It is time to rediscover your mission and purpose in life.  It is time to recover your confidence!  It is time to recover your joy!  It is time to rediscover your faith!"

Bingo!  A perfect fit once again.  Do you ever look in the mirror and question who is starring back at you!  Where was that vibrant and youthful girl, who was full of dreams?  How did I get caught up in the responsibility web of life.  I am all for responsibility, but should it suck the life out of me?

For my last book, I chose Dr. Wayne Dyer's Power of Intention.  Once again, my chocolate alternative method came through . . .

1.  Monitor your inner dialogue.  Notice how much of your inner speech focuses on what's missing, the negative circumstances, the past, and the opinions of others.  

2.  Lighten moments of doubt and depression.  Notice moments that aren't part of your higher nature.  Reject thoughts that support an inability on your part to match the intention.  

An important reminder that we can monitor our thoughts and choose where we want our minds to go.   I do realize this is easier said than done.  It does take practice, but is an important skill to master.

Thanks to the wordly wisdoms from my enlightenend author friends, I am continuing my day with a newfound outlook.   And the best part . . . I feel light and free from live's troubles, rather than weighed down and blah from eating a box of chocolates.