Live your life in the manner that you would like your kids to live theirs.

The other day I was teaching my seven year old daughter how to draw bugs.  The book we used gave simple steps, line by line, on how to draw these cute little creatures.  My  daughter normally draws from her own imagination rather than using instructions from a book, so I decided to start with the easiest bug - the ladybug.  

We started off with a circle for the head, simple right?  Not for my sweet and sensitive seven year old.  To her, the circle she drew looked lop sided.  She kept erasing and tried desperately to make a perfect circle.  Using my God-given patience, I coached her through it.  Finally, she made a circle that met  her standards.  The next step was the eyes . . . after several attempts, she managed to draw two eyes that she could live with.  As we began to draw the body, the emotional stress from the head and eyes became too much for her.  She burst into tears because the pressure of drawing the ladybug was too great.  I encouraged her to take a few deep breaths to calm down (and I did the same).  I explained that the beauty of drawing is there is no right or wrong - it is simply whatever you see and wish the lady bug to be.  The purpose of using this book was not to pass down the  rules of drawing "the perfect" lady bug, but a means of giving tips on how to draw your own version of it.  So, my brave little girl forged ahead and drew a beautiful lady bug.   In the end she drew a lightening bug, ant, walking stick, and bee -- all by herself!!

So, where does my daughter get this perfectionist attitude from?  I wish I could say my husband, but I can't.   My darling daughter is an exact replica of me and my all or nothing attitude.  I love painting, drawing, and playing the piano, but  can easily be overwhelmed with frustration when I fall short of  being perfect.  I must admit, I am too hard on myself and I give up too easily.  It is not my best quality and one I prefer not to pass down to my children.  However, as much as  I try to convince my daughter that these insignificant details of life do not matter -- my actions speak louder than words.  I have learned in order to change my daughter's behavior -- I have to change my own behavior first.  It is certainly not easy to change 35 years of bad habits, but the way I see it, if I am able to make changes in myself I would never think possible, I am one step closer to creating the well-rounded little souls I want my children to be!!